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The expresso seemed to continuously awaken Skip as if from a lifetime's slumber
"Um, excuse me, young sir? 'Skip walked over to the youth holding a long book with a stupid dizzy looking dragon on the cover. Out of nowhere a term surfaced in Skip's mind. He decided to call this a D&D nerd."
"Dude, what the hell are you doing?"
"Excuse me?"
"You're narrating."
"I'm a writer."
"You're doing it out loud."
"I'm a very verbatose writer."
" 'Verbose', not 'Verbatose'."
" 'The D&D nerd flipped a page in his Wizard handbook dealing with intelligence stats and spell casting.'
I beg to differ. I was intentionally bending the English language by creating my own vocabulary word in the verbal/situational irony of doing so."
"Hmph. How verbatose."
"See! 'The nerd flipped a page.' What are you reading?"
"Wizard's handbook."
"I was right!"
"Yah, prophetic given it says 'Wizard Handbook' on the cover. I want to be a wizard for part VI of our fantasy campaign but every time I ask about it the GM says he'd have to bend the story arc too much to turn a bisexual thief ranger into a level 49 wizard. The way I see it, if I'm smart enough in real life, I can figure a way to do it in the game, so I'm at Starbooks to, uh, turn over a new life or whatever."
"I think you're more expanding your horizons than turning over a new leaf." The youth ignored this.
"And maybe I'll find a loophole in the system by reading the law books back over there."
"But you're just reading the one book you have at home anyway, I assume?"
"I know. I'm not too aliterative."
" 'Literate'."
"Oh, you know what I mean."
"I bet you're fantasizing."
"Sorta the point." The kid turned another page. "Oh, wait, you meant.. oh, whatever."
"What is this section?"
"Sci-fi. What are you looking for?"
"What's sci-fi?"
"Duh. Science fiction?"
"What's science?"
"Okay. I don't get it. Hope you're not a humorist writer. I mean that wasn't even a joke. I don't even get the punchline, nevermind why it's a bad one."
"No, really, what's science?"
The youth shrugged as he didn't pay much attention to any particular game a brainless friter would be playing. "Science; noun. Awareness and manipulation of all the physical matter that popped into existence at the dawn of the known universe. That about right?"
" 'Known'? I thought there was only one. I think it's called Okuaka."
"What's that, anime? Well, you can call it Okuaka if you want to. I'm sure Pikachu's popular enough to re-name the universe 'Okuko' if he wants to."
"...And so these books present the theory that your science is all fictional? That would definitely be my take, as I don't put much faith in that sort of thing."
"No, it's--" The kid sighed as he didn't know why he was humoring an schizo novelist's mind games. He stuck the book somewhere it didn't belong and picked another one and pushed the conversation to a minimal subconscious proccess to hold off any worse ridiculousness Skip had in store for him if he wasn't cooperative. For all he knew Skip could be working on a real-life inverse version of Misery where the writer locks a potential fan to a wall until they break and admit they're obsessed about his writing. "It's fiction about the future, using science as a
"Ah! That's what I call 'Future Fiction'. I thought some up recently; or at least I thought I did. I was pretty sure my ideas were forming the very fabric of reality and thrusting me into a physical futuristic landscape, though maybe I was just deluding myself."
"Schizo writer and head in the clouds to boot."
" 'Tim turned a page. They soon both supressed the disturbing event of Skip correcctly predicting what Tim's name was even having never met him. Perhaps it was a top-level friter error.' Someone called me a shizo once, too, what exactly is that?
" 'The youth pulled out two more books and took a seat on a nearby footstool. He responded with a yawn and an even more minimal subconscious attention, and Skip got the feeling the only reason he was bothering to go on at all was he got some sort of minor kick from displaying his intelligence for someone pretending to be more stupid, which probably indicated he was. Or perhaps he was considering it a challenge to define basic terms whose meanings he otherwise would ha taken for granted. Like Socrates.' Skip considered--"
"Okay, so, if you're narrating in real time, how can anything happen without constant interruption, seeing how a paragraph of narration in prose often sums up something that just went on while implying the next line of dialogue happens successively and not broken up while the knights and dragons all pause to give the narrator time to describe their grusome deaths before continuing their battle?"
" 'The youth spoke as if it was even more natural to be humoring Skip with an original interpretation of his logic than to define a few basic english words. He--' "
"See! You have to pause and describe everything before answering the question. How the hell do you expect the world to cater to your verbatose narrating need? A writer's supposed to use the world for inspiration and muses, not actually walk out in traffic and ask all the cars and pedestrians to stop while you figure out how you'd link a physical intersection with a literary character-theme crossover."
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